The Worst Poem About Cheeseburgers In The World


The Worst Poem About Cheeseburgers In The World

Your two all beef patties
special sauced
between the cheese

& pickled onions
of my long, long
sesame seed bun

these patties
have left me
side orderless

and lonely

with a two year old condiment
still hanging loose
in the pocket
of my pants

and sad

I remember our better
days though
before you ketchup’d
all over that other


meat cleaver

The night I declared war on mayonnaise!

When you said cheese
back then
that meant you loved me

only you meant it
the other way

leaving me un-happy meal’d
with my balls
in a deep fryer

sizzling, goodbye


(from my book The Aftermath, etc.   Monkey Puzzle Press)

Published by: getinthecarhelen

Get in the car, Helen. Author of The Aftermath, etc., Beautiful Graveyards, Paper Thin, I Was Going To Use That, I See You Lewis, Love Does Stuff, The Night We Called Dennis, 8 Minutes Faster Than DJs, Snowboots, The Comic Book Plague (w/ Marcus If), Package Gigantis in the Deep Waffle Palace of Love.

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