mother fucker I have decided, sweet lady, that time is a mother fucker and having decided this, brave toasted angel, I've made preparations to take the bastard out things might get messy so if you are inclined w/ a weak stomach I beg of you to wait here for me this will only take a … Continue reading Mother Fucker
Brian Cox and Anthony Weiner Walk Into a Bar Part 1: Brian Cox and Anthony Weiner walk into a bar. The man checking i.d.’s at the door is clean-shaven and thorough, though Weiner appears agitated at being submitted to such a process and mumbles something like “Cox, what’s this guy doing? Doesn’t he … Continue reading Brian Cox and Anthony Weiner Walk Into a Bar
muzak wasn't playing in the elevator the elevator was moving up and down the shaft like music--the shaft accepting such affections libidinously the passengers were oblivious and so thusly un-annoyed a glass of milk becomes a reluctant voyeur at bedside the peanut butter stifling a strong moan as it lubricantlessly enters the jelly, the two … Continue reading Muzak Wasn’t Playing In The Elevator
14 Things I Learned While Watching: The Lake House The Plot: An architect (Keanu Reeves) living in the year 2004 falls in love with a doctor (Sandra Bullock) from the future (2006) with the help of a magic mailbox (played by Andy Serkis). Andy Serkis is great as The Mailbox. You wouldn’t think a mailbox … Continue reading 14 Things I Learned While Watching: The Lake House
The Assassination of Helen’s 29th Year by the Coward Birthday Time Her 29th year lived in a 2 bedroom apartment on Pine St next to a medium-height plastic fence behind which paced a white haired neighbor, his head bobbing curiously like the aperture of an un-convicted serial-shed-killer, back and forth across the horizon of … Continue reading The Assassination of Helen’s 29th Year by the Coward Birthday Time
I Feel Mr. Bad For Mr. Big Mr. Big sold its song ‘To Be With You’ to Wendy’s and then Wendy’s changed the lyrics to be about hamburgers and that made me sad because I don’t eat hamburgers anymore that song has moved beyond something I can relate to … Continue reading I Feel Mr. Bad For Mr. Big
Cocktopus Lives! The first time The Creature came for you, you were laying on the couch thinking about Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica, your dick sticking out of your checker patterned pajama shorts, beating off in the dark; not the Dirk Benedict version of the popular Sci Fi character, the more recent one who recently … Continue reading Cocktopus Lives!