A Year Without Prince: Part 1
(stomp down on that delay pedal)
How has it already been a year?
(year year year)
Where the fuck
has everything gone?
(you keep it in there)
(as long as the water’s warm enough/that’s hot)
Our whole world’s been swallowed by ego
like it was sloppy joe sauce
or left over wine
(what’s this button do?)
(It’s either wired to take down the EPA
or inform the staff that President Parched Asshole
wants another Coke)
Things that have pride besides doves:
Fascists, fast cars, furiously bald actors,
Bon Jovi, bulldozers, heavy sleepers,
trampolines, outrageous synth solos,
winery-s and sandpaper
politicians and the occasional parade
stiff dinner rolls
and hard doom
(fast guitar solo)
(outsourced belly dance moment)
(We should continue this conversation over thongs)
How many days are there in a year again?!
I don’t know
52 seconds and our pants are still on?
(proud keyboard fart)
(Easy baby, that thing’s my weiner
not an ice pick)
(whisper) (Better like that
or not better like that?)
Things that are never satisfied
besides Prince’s mom:
Vampires and jazz licks
truth’s vibrator and pure love
John Mayer’s girlfriends
and overly planned picnics
and tone deaf billionaires
in a park
Wake up wide eyes!
(got ta got ta got ta)
Harry Styles is a pubic hair trend
not a pop star!
Lake Minnetonka isn’t a lake
it’s a goddamn state of mind!
Legend has it there was this one night
when Prince danced so hard
the universe cried dead light
and Prince pissed mozzarella and black olives
until the lady he’d hung his heart on screamed
Now I want Pizza!
and Prince was like, “Troy, I don’t serve ribs”
and Troy said “I’m not Troy, darling. I’m Prompelunia
and I said pizza big shot, not ribs”
And Prince was all, “Sorry. I thought
you were kinda quoting one of my albums. Shit, yeah
(bang down hard on the sus2 chord)
We should get pizza
So they did