Archive | October, 2017

Damn Those Torpedoes (for Tom Petty)

8 Oct

 

Damn Those Torpedoes

aka So This Is Home

 

Existence is a sinking island

Circled by something inspired by battleships

That’ve been bombing the shit out of everything

 

Ever since roughly

around 3 and a half minutes

After the invention of whatever all this is

 

Let’s call it everything!

Let’s call it home!

 

Everyone alive at the moment living between oblivions

on the sinking island have their own theories about the battleships

and what the purpose of their bombing the life out of all of us is intended to be

 

Some people think it has something to do with faith

(note to self: remember to re-watch The Ten Commandments

and other Charlton Heston movies like I’m Charlton Heston and Soylent Green)

 

Some people think it has something to do with mathematics

(note to self: remember to re-watch Good Will Hunting)

 

Some people think it’s all about hamburgers screaming and nothingness

(note to self: remember to re-watch porn)

 

I happen to think that your eyes are constitutionally perfect

In all the ways possible, and I’m being serious

Do people still say things like ‘stunning’ anymore?

 

(“I liked the way we danced.” – The Legend of Bagger Vance)

 

That’s funny, because

I still happen to think that the universe is doomed

and your eyes are stunning

In the way those things we love move on

or don’t let us down are stunning

 

and I’d just like to say I’m sorry

I forgot to eat your soufflé

I’m sorry!

 

This poem is supposed to be about Tom Petty!

But, fuck

those eyes, if they were a fucking recording artist they’d be playin’

with The Heartbreakers right now

(ok now, here we are, back on track)

 

(the absence of many words here now meant to represent silence)

 

I want to tit fuck your eyes

Whoops, we’re heading someplace else now

where Tom Petty’s still dead and tomorrows are a recurring myth and

 

If I had one wish right now

that had nothing to do with fixing what’s wrong in this world

and everything, I’d want to tit fuck your eyes

 

Is there a more politically correct way to say this?

 

I want to tit fuck your eyes

With words shaped like my penis

 

There, now I’ve said it

Let’s get back to Tom Petty and those goddamn battleships

with their existence ending cannons

 

Damn the torpedo that took Tom Petty

when this world really needs him

 

Damn those torpedoes that’ve taken everyone this month

do to hate and gunfire and natural disasters and Trump

 

Damn those torpedoes that take everything away from us

Damn those torpedoes that un-unite humanity

Damn the torpedo that threw me away from you

 

I’d always known all this other horrible shit could happen

(I miss you too, Tom Petty)

But I never thought they’d get away with something like this

 

Those torpedoes managed to take us out too

 

Shit, so

Damn those goddamn torpedoes

#we’llAlwaysHaveWhatWeHadAndDeadwoodbut

 

I’ve been limping like I’ve been waiting in line

for the next slot in the meat locker since then

Which is seriously, ridiculous

 

I’m not giving up or anything, but

Those Tom Petty Damned torpedoes

aren’t fucking around

 

#everytinginchargeisrediculous

 

That was one hell of a shot

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Casablanca 2: Trump-World Boogaloo

2 Oct

 

Casablanca 2: Trump-World Boogaloo

 

Casablanc-me

The moon’s going out tonight

and can’t decide between a bulletproof vest

or a straight jacket and tights

 

(She had the attention span of a corn chip

and my heart is guacamole)

 

Casablanc-you

All I’ve got left is a green Batman t-shirt

and a busted piano that only plays one song

While you’re over there with your new fella

 

Decked out in your sexy bomb shelter

Almost-nakedly debating between oblivion, Phil Collins

singing about mushroom clouds and The Cure

 

Romance is at war with all the things that happen in the real world

Rewound into the 1940’s

Love’s plane keeps getting shot down by brand new Nazis

Kurt Vonnegut said everything: “So it goes”

 

Casablanc-oblivion!

Casablanc-all this confusion that comes from all our lives

lived inside the in-between

(When you drove away I crumbled

against the door

like a slain cookie smashed by the very plate

that had sworn it its love)

 

Casablanc-all that gets lost between the non-existing

And the injustice that thrives in its binding

 

Casablanc-the penultimate dick joke,

that had nothing to do with cookies

but shit, you’ll have to trust me

It’s a dick joke, so it’s funny

 

Casablanc-us all