One Year Without Nickel
Nickel!
Gosh, I fucking miss you
with me: sitting inside at this dining room table desk
writing this thing I wish didn’t need writing, and
you: in the backyard behind me
covered in all the love I’ll always have for you
and random snake shit
and the neighbor’s dog barks
and dirt
This world’s gone extra nutty without you
In the past year since you were forced out of here
by the cyclones of redacted reality
and the mortal biology of cruel blueprints
and the fact that life was designed
to hurt
Nickel,
Since you’ve been gone (copywrite: Kelly Clarkson)
the icecaps have intensified their melting
and compassion has been thrown overboard
by the denial of facts
and while in this current concussed state
has forgotten how to swim
Trump’s played this country
like a spoiled brat shitting in his own toy box
None of us are winning here:
Nazi pedophiles openly run for office
on the Republican ticket
Democrats continue to fumble
under the incompetence of their own Pelosis
and that wasted Justice League movie; holy bat shit,
it was fucking terrible!
Superman’s mustache is 2017’s CGI deep stated metaphor
for the fact that this world’s default move seemed to specialize
in letting everything down
What’s up with that, America?
I’m sick of your Tom Bradys and toothpaste
America,
my cat is still dead
and nobody seems to be digging
that post Super Bowl Cloverfield movie
like I do
America,
You’ve got a Congress lodged in your asshole
shaped like an Ancient Aliens pyramid
(Can you feel that?!)
(Is the answer: Yes? Then do something!)
Stop arguing about who’s going to grab the salad tongs
and get it out of there, you’ve got a serious infection going on
it’s puffy and looks like Trump’s legion of political ass goons
There is no Paul Ryan, only Zuul
America,
No, fuck that
Nickel,
It was exactly one year ago today
when I woke up in the saddest part of an early morning
and found you unbearably stiff
eyes gloomed wide at the foot of the bed
and I knew you were gone
your death having fused with that night’s dreams
I still tried like hell to refuse to believe it
but let’s not go into to that again right now
It’s too sad
and I’ve already all the time since then relived it
It’s a bad anniversary tonight and
I miss you, goofball
I walked out into the backyard where you’ve been buried
and it was dark
and the neighbor’s dogs wouldn’t stop barking
and I can’t take it out there
so I walked back inside
Where Superman’s mustache
cackles and eats everyone’s dinner
What are we supposed to do?
Hell if I know
All I know is that you made everything
less horrible
You made everything better
Damn it
Nickel,
I love you, kiddo
you got me through so much
you got me through damn near all of it
Thanks for that, etc.
I miss you
you reverse Hitler mustached nut-ball, you
