One Year Without Nickel

 

One Year Without Nickel

 

Nickel!

 

Gosh, I fucking miss you

with me: sitting inside at this dining room table desk

writing this thing I wish didn’t need writing, and

you: in the backyard behind me

covered in all the love I’ll always have for you

and random snake shit

and the neighbor’s dog barks

and dirt

 

This world’s gone extra nutty without you

In the past year since you were forced out of here

by the cyclones of redacted reality

and the mortal biology of cruel blueprints

and the fact that life was designed

to hurt

 

Nickel,

 

Since you’ve been gone (copywrite: Kelly Clarkson)

 

the icecaps have intensified their melting

and compassion has been thrown overboard

by the denial of facts

and while in this current concussed state

has forgotten how to swim

 

Trump’s played this country

like a spoiled brat shitting in his own toy box

 

None of us are winning here:

 

Nazi pedophiles openly run for office

on the Republican ticket

 

Democrats continue to fumble

under the incompetence of their own Pelosis

 

and that wasted Justice League movie; holy bat shit,

it was fucking terrible!

 

Superman’s mustache is 2017’s CGI deep stated metaphor

for the fact that this world’s default move seemed to specialize

in letting everything down

 

What’s up with that, America?

 

I’m sick of your Tom Bradys and toothpaste

 

America,

 

my cat is still dead

and nobody seems to be digging

that post Super Bowl Cloverfield movie

like I do

 

America,

You’ve got a Congress lodged in your asshole

shaped like an Ancient Aliens pyramid

(Can you feel that?!)

 

(Is the answer: Yes? Then do something!)

 

Stop arguing about who’s going to grab the salad tongs

and get it out of there, you’ve got a serious infection going on

it’s puffy and looks like Trump’s legion of political ass goons

 

There is no Paul Ryan, only Zuul

 

America,

 

No, fuck that

 

Nickel,

 

It was exactly one year ago today

when I woke up in the saddest part of an early morning

and found you unbearably stiff

eyes gloomed wide at the foot of the bed

 

and I knew you were gone

your death having fused with that night’s dreams

 

I still tried like hell to refuse to believe it

but let’s not go into to that again right now

It’s too sad

and I’ve already all the time since then relived it

 

It’s a bad anniversary tonight and

I miss you, goofball

 

I walked out into the backyard where you’ve been buried

and it was dark

and the neighbor’s dogs wouldn’t stop barking

and I can’t take it out there

so I walked back inside

 

Where Superman’s mustache

cackles and eats everyone’s dinner

 

What are we supposed to do?

 

Hell if I know

All I know is that you made everything

less horrible

 

You made everything better

 

Damn it

 

 

Nickel,

 

I love you, kiddo

you got me through so much

you got me through damn near all of it

Thanks for that, etc.

I miss you

 

you reverse Hitler mustached nut-ball, you

 

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