Tag Archives: Alien

My Balls Are Longer Than They Used To Be

21 Aug

 

My Balls Are Longer Than They Used To Be

 

Not that I’ve ever measured my balls

with a ruler

or a step ladder

or a metrically precise piece of tape

 

Who’d think to do that?

 

It’s just, my birthday was last month

and on my birthday

at some point in which my pants weren’t on

I happened to look down

and noticed

my balls are longer than they used to be

 

I can’t back this up with science

or a pertinent song by Rob Thomas

I just know that they are

like I knew Trump would try to nuke North Korea

to divert attention away from all his domestic time bombs

or how I knew she was leaving

a whole lot of months before

she was actually gone

 

I looked down, on my birthday

and they were longer

longer than I remembered them being

There it is

 

Possible reasons for the elongation:

 

–after the 2nd divorce I stopped wearing underpants

for 5 or 6 years maybe until this year

where I started wearing them again

(even though I’m not wearing any right now)

(I was just wearing a pair earlier

yesterday

so there)

 

Could this extended lack of under stuff support

have something to do with it?

 

–Perhaps it’s just that vindictive combination

of gravity and the mortal extension of time

 

That’ll do it

 

— I watched Alien Covenant 3 times in 5 days at the theater

Also I stopped eating cereal a really long time ago and

I live alone with a cat named after an island that doesn’t exist

 

Is this why I wake up every morning now

and my balls are this long?

Not that they’re ridiculously long or something like that

They’re not

They’re just longer

Than I thought they would be

 

I mean, what was I trying to say here?

I don’t know. Maybe the point is:

And that’s why I don’t play softball anymore

 

you think so?

maybe?

don’t be fraught

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LV 425 1/2

17 Jun

jon b j

 

LV425 1/2

 

my dick caught

in sorrow’s mouth

and its own zipper

at the exact same time

 

your vagina willingly capsized

on the shores of another man’s

coconut clipped island

3 blocks from the last time

my chest broke open like a cracked comb

 

Moscow Russia

as opposed to

Moscow Spain

 

we were in love like drunken geography

and every goddamn metaphor for love

ever used in every song

ever sung by a long haired Jon Bon Jovi

and then some

 

but then Pluto ceased being a planet

in textbooks and you stopped loving me

or something like that

 

you stopped loving me

to the point where I get it

but still limp

 

like a swimming pool

going down on a plate

of Young Guns 2 movie reviews

between H.R. Gieger’s deathbed

and the last bottle on earth

of diet cherry

fucking

coke

 

 

 

 

(from The Planet Poems Or Something Like That)