Tag Archives: Brautigan

If You Stare At My Nose Long Enough It Looks Like A Penis

4 Sep

 

If You Stare At My Nose Long Enough It Looks Like A Penis

 

I only just noticed this yesterday

 

Between Trump vs. North Korea and a bad dream

Involving all the women who’ve left me vs. all the women

I’ve let down and I’ve been living with my nose now

For a really long time, still

I remember it looking other ways, but

Holy Dick Flakes, Batman!

I have no stuffed box memory of it ever

Remotely looking like this

 

And for the past 10 years of so I’ve been paying attention

Because Richard Brautigan wrote a poem about it

And it’s a good one

About his nose and how it was growing older

And I was a young lad at the time, suddenly horrified

By something that had not occurred to me

When I thought all the horrible things about everything

had already occurred to me, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

Youth is an endless procession of discovering

One brand new horrible thing you’ve never thought about

after another, day after day

Until the day’s become years and

The years become Grape Tic Tacs

And untouched jars of Chicken Tonight

And the Chicken Tonight becomes oblivion

 

So every year I get older, if I remember

I’ll occasionally check to see if that face part is getting older

Faster than the rest of the things

I’ve been on the lookout for the Brautification of my nose

For a reasonably measured amount of time

 

And before tonight, things had been fine as far as that area goes

But tonight things have changed again

And not in the way poetically expected

It doesn’t look older, it’s just………….

 

Tonight my nose looks like a penis

Ok

Fuck it

“So it goes” as KV used to say

But things weren’t always like this

 

My nose didn’t always look like a penis

 

At one point it looked like my favorite Foghorn Leghorn cartoon

At one point it looked like King Kong attempting to protect Fay Wray

And at one point, as I got older

It looked like the Bat Symbol

And every time it went down on her Gotham City

It was beautiful, and

Love would save the day

 

It’s been a long time now

Between tonight where my nose looks like a penis

And those past times when it last donned the cowl

 

It’d be too easy to blame Ben Affleck for this

So we won’t blame him, or will we?!

It doesn’t matter

 

Tonight, if you stare at my nose long enough

it looks like a penis

So be it

 

Though I still may or may not boycott the new Justice League movie

I still think of you often

every time I sneeze

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Tomorrow is June 30th, June 30th

30 Jun

brautigan

Tomorrow Is June 30th, June 30th

 

On June 30th’s

I always feel like I’m standing in Tokyo

but I’ve never been to Tokyo

so where I’m standing is a place

that I’ve made up based on words,

stock footage,

and missing you

in my head

 

on June 30th’s I live in a dream

 

and in the dream the sun looks like the moon

and the moon looks like a ball full of cats

purring along to the opening notes

of early Bon Jovi                  (Tokyo Road)

 

everything that’s shitty about everything

gets replaced by bowling trophies, sombreros

and trout

 

because in this dream

Brautigan put the gun down

and traded in all thoughts of pulling the trigger

for another shot of love and whiskey

and an entire library

of more time

 

in the dream Brautigan’s still breathing

he’s 81 years old

and the reason the world doesn’t know

he’s still around

is he’s been living

in my basement

 

on June 30th’s

he comes upstairs

and we watch Planet of the Apes

with the sound down

 

and write dick poems

about Charlton Heston

until we’re both too drunk

to spell ‘dick’ right

 

or we pretend the cats speak

Japanese and that’s why we don’t know

what they’re saying

 

one time we ordered a pizza

but our order got mixed up

and they brought us the Empire State Building instead

 

so for the rest of the day

we lived in the Empire State Building

and took turns being King Kong

 

until our hearts

had been made

out of bullet holes

 

and whoever the fuck

dream-owns the Empire State Building

kicked us out

 

 

 

(written while listening to 7800 Degrees Fahrenheit/Bon Jovi)