Die Hard And A Baby The night woke up with its pants still on, perpetually and an axe wound the size of Nebraska hacked into the side of an un-expecting pre-Planet of the Apes-ending Statue Of Liberty which the perpetual murderer had, in a moment of cheap whisky and cinema mistaken …
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Hotel Yesterday vs Hotel Today They had knock-knock sex And took turns screaming Who goes there?! While I sat in the next room shaking Listening as they fucked away madness On the other side of the wall Their grunts making oatmeal out of the drywall Rubbing my face and everything else that …
Get out of the car, Donald We were 70 hours behind the inauguration line When our country’s death wish began to stutter Like a sexually frustrated poop yogurt commercial And Donald Trump turned his entire head Towards the window and screamed “Pull over you shaggy faced bastard! That Burger King just looked at me …
Ivory And Ivory (11/4/16, 4 days before the election) Donald [fucking] Trump The ‘t’ is silent Like a pterodactyl audibly abandoning its own ‘p’ (Extinction curtails the immediate production of urine) Or how the word ‘Ebony’ isn’t allowed to rent an apartment In Donald Trump’s version of that tune, which …
I’m Going To Build A Miniature Version Of The Wall From Game of Thrones and Donald Trump Is Going To Pay For It Because, fuck him He’s got a scathingly high percentage of people Hopped up on false laxatives and embryonic fear And they’re chasing it with a mix of draconian prejudices …
A Bottle Of Mustard It sounds weird doesn’t it? We both agreed It sounds weird Like a trombone of toothpaste Or a birdhouse of gin People don’t say it that way Despite the fact that mustard packers Have been packing mustard in bottles For a (completely made up number) of years …
My Donald In Your Putin Mayakovsky poem as-if mistranslated from the Russian by a love-struck Donald Trump What can I say You’re a strong man And when a strong man says Nice things to me It’s only reasonable to say Nice things to the strong man Back, I mean just look at …
