Tag Archives: Hulk

Greek Salad vs. Lou Ferrigno

29 Sep

 

Greek Salad vs Lou Ferrigno

 

she ordered a greek salad

w/ italian dressing

interdicting the specific flavor intensions

of the dead bastard who invented

greek salads

 

she never wanted a sandwich

or a hotdog, which also might be considered a sandwich

or whatever the hell  other meal type options are out there

competing against the decisions for salad

 

she never wanted world wars

or Poco Harem records

or to hurt me, or to be the person

who fucks somebody else’s shadow

into the sun

 

she just wanted a whole lot of distance

to get away, somewhere

where she could be swallowed by vineyards

 

she wanted out

 

p.s.

 

my penis is like lou ferrigno

neither one of them can hear

shit

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While Watching Birdman (or: and also a couple of scenes from Jaws 3)

6 Mar

Birdman-Movie-Poster-Michael-Keaton

note: the following was written a few nights ago by Jonathan Montgomery, Shayna Lynn, and me after reading poetry on the radio (link to listen pasted down below) and then going back to my place and watching Birdman.

While Watching Birdman (or: and also a couple of scenes from Jaws 3)

 

“You’re drinking? “I’m having a beer.”

 

I’m having a Batman

 

My hairpiece removes 20 drinking years

 

While also looking back fondly on the days

when we couldn’t turn our neck

 

I’m having a Hulk

–the better one

 

Make it a double green

like shamrocked ass cheeks

 

with extra why-me?

and shaken angry/not stirred

 

Ok! Look who just walked in the theater bar…

 

A chance at being heard

leaving behind a telekinetic scene

 

screaming things like:

I want to hide my pot

in your peanut butter!

 

And ‘It’s only real if I’m hard’

“I need to feel real”

 

He can only fuck if they’re watching

 

so if you’d

you know,

like to look at me later

that’d take care of the watching

 

That’s hard too. Get self respect!

 

that’s how you keep yourself

on the edge of “did I

just do that?”

 

That’s how you make

a gravy & tomato sandwich

when all you’ve got is bread

 

(Who wrote this?)

 

The drunk on the stage

begging for flour

 

I am my busted nose’s

worst dream

 

I’m not afraid to bleed

When is he going to fly?

 

maybe as soon as it stops

snowing outside

 

Is there gonna be a blow scene?

 

Hold on a voice is talking to me

 

(Deep growl) Truth or Dare:

stick the long tracking shot

part of my penis

all the way into your mouth

 

He can only fuck when they’re watching

“Let em watch she says”

Is this my finest hair piece?

 

This is what we talk about

when we talk about

watching two people eat soup

 

one person takes turns being

the spoon

the other person takes turns

being the mouth

 

The critic Campbell’s labels

her actless opinions

 

Everyone gets fifteen minutes

of Warhol

 

which will take at least 30 minutes

of whisky to wash the Warhol out

 

Technicolor stew pot situations

the Birdman will rise again

 

I’m Birdman!

 

Everything we’ve ever lost

is Birdman!

 

the sock stuck behind the dryer

–Birdman—

the cereal that falls on the floor

and rolls under the fridge

–Birdman—

 

The guy you used to know

who was half-bird

 

is half bird man

like your love for me,

half Birdman

 

maybe your affections are

a seagull gliding over the ocean

 

or a jellyfish

half-fish

half-jelly

 

The final act is a toaster

on number 6

Croutons or cracker bang?

 

the toast gets confused

but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t love you

even though it doesn’t love you

 

Pop

goes the toast

 

Big baby’s a banger

hope he wins a Tony

 

and if not a Tony

at the very least

a Ralph

 

Hope he gets a beak

for a new nose

or maybe a Joker face

 

or a new nose that can tell

the difference between Twitter

and my life in paint

 

a Darwinian adaptation

bright yellow or orange

neon

 

A nose as big as

the nose building

in New York City

 

a face the size of daydreams

 

Cauliflower clouded

the few, did you see?

 

And landed with a

symbol crash?

 

the natives,

being no fan of percussions,

shot arrows into the very

heart of things

 

Birdman doesn’t eat seeds

 

But Seed-Man eats birds

 

and Seedbird eats man

when it’s on sale

 

And Jaws eats man whenever

 

Da nunn, Da nunn…

3D fish head

I didn’t need that leg anyways

 

we’ll just forward to the part

where he eats in the tube

 

CHOMP!

 

(Michael Keaton, we love you)

 

 

radio link: