Tag Archives: Nickel

One Year Without Nickel

9 Feb

 

One Year Without Nickel

 

Nickel!

 

Gosh, I fucking miss you

with me: sitting inside at this dining room table desk

writing this thing I wish didn’t need writing, and

you: in the backyard behind me

covered in all the love I’ll always have for you

and random snake shit

and the neighbor’s dog barks

and dirt

 

This world’s gone extra nutty without you

In the past year since you were forced out of here

by the cyclones of redacted reality

and the mortal biology of cruel blueprints

and the fact that life was designed

to hurt

 

Nickel,

 

Since you’ve been gone (copywrite: Kelly Clarkson)

 

the icecaps have intensified their melting

and compassion has been thrown overboard

by the denial of facts

and while in this current concussed state

has forgotten how to swim

 

Trump’s played this country

like a spoiled brat shitting in his own toy box

 

None of us are winning here:

 

Nazi pedophiles openly run for office

on the Republican ticket

 

Democrats continue to fumble

under the incompetence of their own Pelosis

 

and that wasted Justice League movie; holy bat shit,

it was fucking terrible!

 

Superman’s mustache is 2017’s CGI deep stated metaphor

for the fact that this world’s default move seemed to specialize

in letting everything down

 

What’s up with that, America?

 

I’m sick of your Tom Bradys and toothpaste

 

America,

 

my cat is still dead

and nobody seems to be digging

that post Super Bowl Cloverfield movie

like I do

 

America,

You’ve got a Congress lodged in your asshole

shaped like an Ancient Aliens pyramid

(Can you feel that?!)

 

(Is the answer: Yes? Then do something!)

 

Stop arguing about who’s going to grab the salad tongs

and get it out of there, you’ve got a serious infection going on

it’s puffy and looks like Trump’s legion of political ass goons

 

There is no Paul Ryan, only Zuul

 

America,

 

No, fuck that

 

Nickel,

 

It was exactly one year ago today

when I woke up in the saddest part of an early morning

and found you unbearably stiff

eyes gloomed wide at the foot of the bed

 

and I knew you were gone

your death having fused with that night’s dreams

 

I still tried like hell to refuse to believe it

but let’s not go into to that again right now

It’s too sad

and I’ve already all the time since then relived it

 

It’s a bad anniversary tonight and

I miss you, goofball

 

I walked out into the backyard where you’ve been buried

and it was dark

and the neighbor’s dogs wouldn’t stop barking

and I can’t take it out there

so I walked back inside

 

Where Superman’s mustache

cackles and eats everyone’s dinner

 

What are we supposed to do?

 

Hell if I know

All I know is that you made everything

less horrible

 

You made everything better

 

Damn it

 

 

Nickel,

 

I love you, kiddo

you got me through so much

you got me through damn near all of it

Thanks for that, etc.

I miss you

 

you reverse Hitler mustached nut-ball, you

 

Advertisements

A Month Without Nickel

9 Mar

A Month Without Nickel

 

Sleep is an old vacuum cleaner from the 1950’s

The kind they used to sell door to door

Most now buried and the ones still around

Don’t really work anymore

 

And when I do sleep

The dreams eat all the floors

Until I wake up perpetually exhausted again

With no safe place left to stand

 

I miss everything about her

Even the things that used to piss me off

 

I miss her reverse Hitler mustache

And the way she’d leave old action figure twist ties

And other random shit like ham in the middle of my futon

For me to find when I returned home from work on the weekdays

 

I miss the way she used to follow me everywhere

When I was in a bad mood and she’s slap her paw

Against me face every time my face needed slapping

 

In that way she had

That seemed to say

Hey, we’re alive

 

Life is hard

But we’ve got each other

Cat logic goddamn it

We’re gonna be ok

 

I don’t have that anymore

I’ve lost my best friend

And that reassurance that came

With the two of us simply

Being together in the same room

 

I miss the way she’d crawl beneath the blankets

On the long nights when my mind was surrounded

By all the beautiful things that have left me

 

I miss the way she’d chase me up the stairs

And I miss the way she’d manage to break into the basement

And I miss the way she’d scream for cat treats

At the top of her lungs when she was breathing

 

Nickel,

 

I miss you so much

That I have a hard time believing that you’re gone

And fuck I’m so sorry

I took you for granted

When I took you that way

 

Like we tend to take

All the things that keep us going

For granted

 

You’re buried in the back yard now

 

And I’m whatever I am

And I am now also the backyard

You’re buried in me

 

And I will carry you until

Until my legs turn to dust

And then I’ll carry you some more

 

Because fuck it

Death cannot stop us

Because I refuse to let it

 

And I know

Wherever you are

That you refuse to let it

To stop you too

 

And p.s. also

Shutter Island also misses you madly

And says: hello