Fuck List In the new Predator movie Arnold reprises his role as Dutch ex-special ops commando He’s an old man at this point many decades away from the 1980’s sitting in the middle of his trailer park living room (because time has been tough on us all) He’s watching old …
She Left Me For A Guy Named Parkour She left me for a guy named Parkour and I don’t want to even spend a goddamn second eventually realizing what that’s supposed to mean Ouch Your ass is not a park bench, Helen You don’t have to let some acrobatic prick…. No, …
love is a long and bloody prison break love is a long and bloody prison break time shakes behind bars without you I watch rented movies with this green Moleskin while clutching my pillow shark surrounded by internet and everything I own in cardboard boxes and the impeached sounds of two …
Die Hard And A Baby The night woke up with its pants still on, perpetually and an axe wound the size of Nebraska hacked into the side of an un-expecting pre-Planet of the Apes-ending Statue Of Liberty which the perpetual murderer had, in a moment of cheap whisky and cinema mistaken …
Goop Happens Every time Gwyneth Paltrow endorses a pillow case an angel wakes up to find its face laying flat against a soiled mattress, and its wings have rotten off and wealthy peoples pillows, the pillows owned by the kind of pillow owners who can afford to follow Gwyneth Paltrow’s advice, those …
This Year I Watched The Game In The Middle of the Night on My Birthday canned corn or cold cream? her toenails smiled like cigarettes, screaming the highways griddled with jam band bumper stickers and road kill and tonight honestly, I can’t tell which is worse dick balm or …
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